Another year-end post

Chinese astrology assigns 2007 to be a lucky year for people born in the year of the dog when it comes to love. It also warns against acting impulsively because luck, though present, may not run smoothly.

I don’t know about love but I could sure use some luck this coming year.

For the year 2006, a total of two things have managed to consume my time and energy:

1. My thyroid condition

It wasn’t really a good year for me, health-wise. Having a thyroid condition can be tricky, given the constant monitoring and side-effects. For the past year, I have been taking blood tests so often that I think I should just drill a permanent hole through my vein. I have been exposed to radiation, I have puked my way through the first semester, and I have taken enough pills to leave a trail from my house to Rockwell a la Hansel and Gretel. From 115 pounds, I went up to a marvelous 130 and then deflated back to miserable old 115 by the time the first semester ended. I never thought I would have to grapple with health with so much apprehension. I mean, c’mon now. I’m young and supposedly at the prime of my youth. Instead, I have all these pills to take in the morning, during the day, and before I go to bed. Mabuti if they’re fun pills but, alas, they cause migraines, nausea and crazy bouts of mood swings.

I should be thankful, though. At least I got back just in time. At least it’s being treated. At least they were able to dissolve the golf ball I had on my neck last year. At least my hands don’t shake anymore. At least my pulse rate is normal. At least I can afford to complain about it. The one thing I can do to help stabilize my condition is not to get my stress levels up. Everything could have been so much worse. I could have still been in the States and have had no idea that the nightly-breaking-out-in-hives was much more serious than it let on.

Still, it would be nice not to be a regular sight in Makati Med. It would be nice not to have to anticipate every side-effect by popping a pill. Hopefully my TSH levels will be stable this year and the doctor won’t have to keep adjusting my medication dosage so much. Hopefully my body starts to behave and get my weight up to 130 again, pleasepleaseplease.

2. Law School

This was my biggest surprise. I had no idea I would be taking the entrance exam when I got back from the States. I had no idea I would pass it and I had absolutely no idea I would end up loving it. Which doesn’t mean to say, of course, that I’m having a breeze - God, no. The first semester was absolute chaos. I wasn’t used to recitation and I spent quite a lot of my recit rounds staring in complete shock at my professors thinking “Oh my god, can I please just write my answer down for you?” Then, of course, the written exams would come and I would spend a lot of time in complete shock as well. What the fuck was this? A marries B. B dies. A marries C and gives birth to a baby a month later. Is the baby legitimate, illegitimate or legitimated? Oh, and by the way? C is psychologically incapacitated. Is their marriage void or voidable?

Oh my god.

And then, of course, I got my grades and found out I failed my favorite subject. Talaga naman.

In any case, I love it. I’m hanging by a frayed-ass thread but hopefully I make it (Legal muse, I invoke thee!). Weirdly enough, I enjoy the feeling that, after reading books/cases in such close proximity and concentration, it takes a while for my eyes to adjust when I glance up to look at someone/something. It can’t be good for my eyes, of course, but whatever. I didn’t think I had that much capacity for focus so it’s refreshing. I don’t know if I’m any better this semester but so far I’ve been trying to just get on with it with as much grace and determination as I can muster. Also, I’ve met a number of great people and made (and lost) a fair amount of friends. A little drama here and there but on the whole, I don’t think I should regret the decisions I’ve made so far.

Of course, I don’t like the fact that I hardly have any time to cultivate relationships. By relationships, I mean those with my friends and family. I’m not going to deny that, what with the isolation that law school requires, I tend to curl up into a lonely little (okay, fine, not so little) ball of nerves. I should change that, this year.

I know I’m not going to die if I ever lose this chance at law school but honestly, I don’t have an inkling as to what I’m going to do next, if ever. Zero. I’m banking on prayers and myself to make it past second semester and into the second year.

2005 was my year of motion and taught me that enough love will give you unbelievable strength and confidence.

2006 is the year that taught me that plans don’t always work out; it has taught me how to deal with change.

2007, show me what you’ve got.