20 Random things. Tagged on livejournal.

1. On the last leg of my stay, I danced "Witchcraft" with the baby everyday. It was from the cd that JP gave us when we watched that jazz band in San Diego. I really liked that semi-ritual with Clara - dipping, twirling and hearing her laugh.

2. On that note, I think I want to get married and have a baby already! I can't believe it, either. I've been discussing it with a couple of girls my age and they all agree. It doesn't mean to say that we have no individual ambition anymore or anything. It's just... our maternal hormones are kicking in! Unbelievable.

3. I have to re-learn our house. Being away for seven months is no joke and, considering that we seem to have accumulated a whole lot more furniture, walking in the dark requires a renewed sense of flexibility and alertness. Our dining room has two new kamagong tables and my mother has rightly christened it "The Mess Hall."

4. I did not have time to cry or mope on the flight back to Manila, and I owe it all to Vicks Nyquil. For 13 hours, I was splayed out on the three seats, passed out, only waking up when the reheated bland food was on my tray.

5. The guy I used to work with is such a character. He'd go into the office raving mad, slam his hands on the desk and say things like, "Guess what? Mercury in the air has gone up by 7% Do you know what that means? Dammit!" I admire his passion but I'm really just wondering how he sleeps at night, what with all the things in his head.

6. Now that I'm home, it's frustrating to have to, again, deal with little details that are important to my mother such as: how my hair looks, why I am going out without earrings, why I haven't showered yet when it's almost time to have lunch and lastly, pwede ba can I fix my room ang kalat kalat. I love her to death and she's great but I really don't want to be sucked into her micro world again.

7. I miss my boyfriend and his family. It's so much more difficult leaving a whole set of wonderful people that I have cultivated individual relationships with, than just one person (who means the world to me). I felt like I really had a place in that household and I feel lucky to have them in my life.

8. At the risk of sounding conceited, I am so proud of myself for being able to do what I did. I took a stand, did something about it, cried along the way, cried leaving it, but through all of that, I achieved something important and life-defining. Galing. I wonder if I can ever muster up enough courage to do that again. I wonder if I will be given another opportunity to do that again, too.

9. I really really wish I knew how to dance. Or at least have the confidence enough to still do it even if I look like a fool. It seems really fun and damn it, all the other kids can do it, why can't I?

10. I really really really miss my boyfriend. I was so happy when I was with him and doing my own thing. I never really think about happiness in general but I was with BJ and making my own decisions, my dad asked me if I was happy and I said yes, and I thought to myself, "Wow, I really am happy."

Ok I'll do the rest next time.