Saturday, July 03, 2004

I had such big plans of writing something that wasn't about me, for a change. Today was the first day of my MA class Media and Environment and it made me think about so many things. I really missed being in school - sitting down, listening to, and taking in so many ideas from the professor, classmates, etc. It made me happy to be in that kind of environment again because I felt so isolated at home and also because the class is turning out to be more interesting than I had initially thought.

And then I came home and cried.

There's this girl in my class who's only a year older than I am and speaks with so much self-assurance, it depresses me. Why can't I speak with as much confidence and conviction? I feel like I'm 2 inches tall, and dumb to boot.

That's it eh. I just feel all sorts of dumb. Right now, I feel like I don't want to go back to class next week because I'm not as good as the rest - not remotely in the same league as they are.

I just kind of died for you
You just kind of stared at me

- Foo Fighters "Aurora"

Edit:I told my parents what I was feeling over dinner and my mom said "Stop it na ha! Stop it." Hahahaha. Boy oh boy I love her. Tomorrow I will cook my stupidity away. And write that entry that's, hurrah, not about inane details of my life.

2 comments:

ning said...

believe me, that's how it is the first class. you feel really small.

but things get better. i found people who loved the same things i did. i swear it really gets better.

it's one of the greatest things i did for myself.
where you studying?

. said...

In Ateneo. I'm taking 9 units this semester, and hopefully, 9 again the next.

Oh, and thanks :)