Writing a thesis is a lonely obsessive activity. You live inside your head, nowhere else. University libraries are like madhouses, full of people pursuing wraiths, hunches, obsessions. The person with whom you spend most of your time is the person you're writing about."

That passage comes from a book EJ lent me today, called "Hallucinating Foucault." It makes writing theses sound very romantic. Only, I feel like a high school student writing about abortion/euthanasia.

Not that I ever wrote about abortion/euthanasia.

I'm just making a point. And that point is that I feel very elementary. Very inept. Damn this.

CORRECTION: EJ has given me the book. This makes me unbelievably happy, because it smells so wonderful and reads even more so. Yay.

It makes me sad to read great books and just wish I could have even a pinch of their talent. Every time I attempt to continue my thesis, I am just reminded that all I can write is juvenilia. I don't want to write and mentally hear Meg Ryan saying the words. You know what I mean? I seriously don't think I am cut out for this field and yet, I'm going to be graduating from it in two months. Do I jump ship?

Is there a career as a reader?